Hilarious...

Here's a lovely little thing from the blonde blogosphere.

It seems that Legally Blonde went for an interview with the prosecutors office.

Sadly she didn't read Blonde Justice's tips for interviewing at prosecutor's offices before she showed up. If she had she'd have known that Blonde warns her that they "might ask her ethical questions and that the correct answer would always seem to be the exact opposite of what your Professional Resposibility teacher would choose. In fact, the correct answer is just "Whatever puts the most bad guys in jail for the longest time."

But did she listen? Ah no...

So here, without further ado, Legally Blonde's account of her interview and then Blonde Justice's suggested answers to the questions...

"Tuesday was my interview with the prosecutor's office. It was horrible. All he did was throw 3 hypos at me which were completely ridiculous. Just so you can see what I was dealing with:

Neighbors hearing fighting and call police, police and neighbors see husband strike wife, arrest husband, wife will not testify against him, what do you tell her? Do you press charges still? I first stressed how I would inform her of all the options and safehavens there are for battered women (which he did not seem to care about). He just kept pressing the issue of whether I'd charge the spouse. I finally said I could not make a decision like that without a prior history of the husband's in front of me. With a victim unwilling to testify I didn't know if it was the roll of the state to interfere with a family matter. Not to mention that regardless of whether she testifies or not if he is sent to jail she'll probably face violence from that-so how is that really helping the victim. Plus the family is loosing wages while the husband is in jail. While my instinct is to lock up all spousal abusers I'm just not sure proceeding with that case and wasting valuable time is worth it.


1. The answer is "Jail." And jail for the wife for obstructing justice or perjury or something. And threaten to take away her kids if she doesn't like it. Also, are they here legally? Because, as a prosecutor, you also have a duty to make sure the immigration laws are being followed... Oh, don't worry, by now she's starting to see things my way, and she'll be happy to testify.


2. 85 year old man is mugged, starts carrying a concealed weapon out of fear and is unlikely to be a repeat offender, do you charge him? If you choose not to charge him what do you do when the arresting officer gets upset with you for not doing what he considers to be your job? I said I would not charge him with the CCW Violation provided I was certain he wouldn't be a repeat offender because it seemed like a waste of valuable time. And as for the officers-it's not really a shocker that police and lawyer's don't get along and this is one of the reasons. While I wouldn't want to intentionally get an offiver mad at me I also am not going to be told how to do my job by one. (I think he liked this answer).

2. The answer is "Jail." Being old doesn't excuse you from the law. Being scared doesn't excuse you from the law. Jail, jail, jail. And some more jail.

And if any officer is ever mad at me, I'd stop by the station house with a box of donuts, and that'll solve that.


3. 80 year old lady has china stolen out of her car, print on the glass matches man who lives 3 blocks down, search his house, find the plates, his attorney want to waive the preliminary examination and just go to trial-do you? I explained that I hadn't had criminal procedure and while saving time was obviously a benefit of waiving it I wasn't fully aware of what happens at the preliminary exam (they don't show that on "Law and Order") and couldn't really make an educated decision. (Prosecutor then presses the issue and forces me to make an uninformed choice). I decide to wave it. (He then skips ahead 6 months to trail and decides the 80 year old lady died-he then informs me I don't have a case since I don't have her testimony from the exam). UMM THANKS JACKASS-DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU I DIDN'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT TO MAKE A CHOICE! WAY TO ASK ME A TRICK QUESTION AND THEN WHEN I TELL YOU I DON'T THINK I CAN ANSWER IT COERCE ME INTO ANSWERING WRONG SO YOU CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF.

3. What do you mean "jail" isn't an acceptable answer? Ok, then it should've been, "I don't know, whatever gets the guy in jail sooner?"

Or, how about, "I'd exhume the body, and make her talk. And threaten her with jail if she refused to comply."

And then tell him, "Oh, and by the way, no officer is really dusting a car for prints, so get real, JERK!"