A friend of mine sent this to me...

I have to say I was stunned when a friend of mine sent this to me:

It's by some guy named Porter Stansburry, and it is the sort of tripe that circulates among republicans:

This is why there are no jobs in America

I'd like to make you a business offer. Seriously. This is a real offer. In fact, you really can't turn me down, as you'll come to understand in a moment...

Here's the deal. You're going to start a business or expand the one you've got now. It doesn't really matter what you do or what you're going to do. I'll partner with you no matter what business you're in – as long as it's legal. But I can't give you any capital – you have to come up with that on your own. I won't give you any labor – that's definitely up to you. What I will do, however, is demand you follow all sorts of rules about what products and services you can offer, how much (and how often) you pay your employees, and where and when you're allowed to operate your business. That's my role in the affair: to tell you what to do.

Now in return for my rules, I'm going to take roughly half of whatever you make in the business each year. Half seems fair, doesn't it? I think so. Of course, that's half of your profits. You're also going to have to pay me about 12 percent of whatever you decide to pay your employees because you've got to cover my expenses for promulgating all of the rules about who you can employ, when, where, and how. Come on, you're my partner. It's only "fair."

Now ... after you've put your hard-earned savings at risk to start this business, and after you've worked hard at it for a few decades (paying me my 50 percent or a bit more along the way each year), you might decide you'd like to cash out – to finally live the good life. I know, I know. You put up all the original capital. You took all the risks. You put in all of the labor. That's all true. But I've done my part, too. I've collected 50 percent of the profits each year. And I've always come up with more rules for you to follow each year. Therefore, I deserve another, final 20 percent slice of the business.

So here's my reply to my friend:

I've got a great business proposition for you:

You can start whatever business you like, and keep 100 percent of what you make. Only thing is, if someone screws you on a deal, you don't get to run to the courts, see, 'cause there aren't any. If you want to deliver something to market, you don't get to use my roads. Or my water. If your factory burns down, better call your own folks though where they'll get the water, I'm not sure, but hey--no worries. Also, might need some folks to dig a latrine. Shit begins to stink when it's not burried, and all that sewer stuff--that's for all my other partners. Oh yeah, and when the "Businessman" next door--you know "bubba the ballbreaker" comes and very sweetly asks for your're on your own pal. Hope you're good with that shotgun. Go forth prosper.


Anonymous said...

And you can't you use my electricity to run your business. And you cannot use my library to do research to learn how to do everything that you'll need to know to be successful. What an idiot (him not you)

Glad you're blogging again.


expat divorce said...

this made me laugh out loud!

expat divorce said...

this made me laugh out loud!

Anonymous said...

Its funny how the republicrats want to give police more power when they are supposed to be more limited govt after all aren't ada's police, public employees?